Changing behavior, whether your own or someone else’s, is not an easy process. Make sure you set yourself and others up for success, rather than demanding perfection. Whether you want to change or you want someone else to, you should focus on setting clear and realistic goals, thinking positively, finding support, tracking and rewarding progress, and accepting relapses.
Set clear goals. Make sure the behaviors you want to change are specific, measurable, and attainable. Give yourself some freedom in the goals you set.If you’re trying to begin exercising for the first time, a reasonable goal might be to go for a 20–30 minute walk five days per week. This holds you accountable to walk more throughout the week, but is more gives you some wiggle room if something gets in your way.[2]
If you’re trying to eat healthier, a reasonable goal to start with might be to bring your lunch to work three days per week instead of eating out with coworkers.
Don’t set yourself up for failure by holding yourself to a standard of perfection. Thinking that you will not have bad days or setbacks may lead you to be too hard on yourself when these things happen. Expecting perfection may cause you to abandon your goals when really all you need to do is try again or readjust your expectations. Be kind to yourself during this process — change can be difficult.
Be willing to step down your expectations if your initial plan is too demanding. For example, if 20–30 minutes of walking for five days a week is too demanding on your schedule at the moment, you can always try performing body weight exercise for 10 minutes, five days per week. Or try walking three days per week and work up to five snake game.